Google
 

You Know You're In Humboldt County

Oct 13, 2008 - 7:36

In Humboldt County gross white people have nasty dreadlocks

Ekovox recently posted an email that is circulation entitled "You know you're from Eureka if...". We thought it was a good idea, so we're taking it one step further and doing a list for all of Humboldt County. Here goes:


You know you're in Humboldt County if...


  1. One out of every three vehicles you see on the road is a gigantic pickup truck with a 12" lift and a 20-something pot grower's girlfriend behind the wheel.
  2. Your internet and long distance connectivity is severed every few months when Caltrans digs up the fibre to San Francisco.
  3. Everyone you know has been robbed or burglarized at least once.
  4. You never leave your car unlocked, not even for a couple minutes while you run into the gas station for smokes.
  5. The sun only comes out once a week, maybe less.
  6. The pungent smell of fresh marijuana wafts through your neighborhood on a regular basis.
  7. You don't bother calling the cops, ever, because you know they won't show up for at least two hours.
  8. There's an indoor marijuana garden related house fire at least once a month.
  9. Every person under the age of 30 you see walking around town is wearing a hooded sweatshirt.
  10. Every person under the age of 24 has their hood pulled up over their head, even when the weather is nice.
  11. You fully expect every driver on the road to be uninsured and driving an unregistered vehicle without a valid license.
  12. Nobody smiles at you or says hello.
  13. White people with super gross dreadlocks are everywhere. The longer the dreads, the more disgusting the person wearing them seems to be.
  14. At dusk, only half the drivers on the road use their headlights. The other half are divided into two groups: those who refuse to turn their lights on until it's actually pitch dark, and those who think it is acceptable to drive around with only their parking lights on.
  15. Every house has the curtains drawn or the shades closed to hide the marijuana growing activity within.
  16. Locals are outnumbered 4-1 by out-of-towners who moved here to grow pot.
  17. There are hundreds of restaurants, but only about 5 that are worth eating at.
  18. You can't walk down the street without some homeless 19 year old with dreadlocks asking you for spare change. When you refuse, he cusses at you and says something about capitalism and greed.
  19. Nobody drives the speed limit. They either go 5 mph under the limit, or they go 10-20 mph over.

Did we miss any? Feel free to add yours in the comments section!


<< HowStuffWorks Explains Marijuana Grow Houses Humboldt County News Roundup >>

By Aaron, on Oct 14, 2008 - 2:56
Well done, I agree with most as a local, especially the "being outnumbered 4 to 1" by out-of-towners (cocky assholes for the most part, though some are pretty chill) and the 100s of resturants only of which 5 are any good (also many are fronts---Chans in Arcata, etc, now cmon)

By kymk, on Oct 14, 2008 - 8:37
Okay, I must live in a different place than you! I had to rebut this on my blog. Come on...Where's the love? 8)

BTW, as a wife and daughter of Caltrans people, I have to point out that it was a contractor not a Caltransient (my husband's name for he and his fellow workers) who severed the line.

My Humboldt

By Mrs. Buster, on Oct 14, 2008 - 10:32
Wow... I'm deeply sad for you if this is the way you feel about Humboldt...deeply. The Humboldt I was born & raised in, the Humboldt I raised my own children in is thankfully nothing like yours.
My Home is warm and beautiful. People come from all over the world to be amazed at the beauty here.
I'm well over thirty & I still wear hodded sweatshirts when the weather suits.
I smile at every person I pass and often say hello as I srtoll the streets of my town.
Those lifted trucks you seem to dislike are well insured. Lenders (even pot growers get car loans) insist & the CHP & DMV insure it by yanking your registration if you don't keep up your insurance.
I'm not sure what your hang up with other peoples hairstyles is all about. I've always found "the content of a mans character" a better way to judge people...when I feel the need to judge.
I drive the speed limit & if my car is moving my lights are on...safety first.
I love the variety of foods available here from Mickey D's to Avalon this county has something for every one.
I do not give money to people on the street. I do give to the Mateel meal program, Wish shelter for women and children,the Community center,Friends of the eel river, Miranda animal shelter, Heart of the Redwoods horse rescue, and of course the local volunteer fire departments and ANY friend or neighbor in need.
Your list mad me sad & hurt my feelings. This is my home. This is where I was born and where I'll die. I've been out in the world enough to know... We've got it good here. If you can't see that, I suggest you travel. Maybe you'll find what your looking for out there some where. As for me... I'll be right here is the most beautiful place in our Great Nation enjoying the company of our intelligent, diverse, artistic, generous, and fun loving neighbors.


By nop, on Oct 14, 2008 - 11:07
the author of this psot and the creator of this site is a retard! plain and simple, humboldt if the best place I have come across to live

wat

By foodie, on Oct 14, 2008 - 15:44
you like Avalon? They don't put salt on anything! They don't even give you salt on your table, and even the butter is unsalted. Snobs! I heard they got run out of the bay area and had to move to eureka to hide and so they could be elite among humboldtians.

By jason, on Oct 14, 2008 - 20:39
Can some of you people really not take a joke? Really?

You REALLY can't see the humor in some of these? Really?

My god! What boring people you must be?...

(not you kym, we know your not boring)

no kidding

By anonymous, on Oct 14, 2008 - 21:47
thank you jason, that is exactly what i was thinking. kym is great, but she probably doesn't live in eureka where every single one of these points is pretty much true for everyone. I thought it was funny

By sarah, on Oct 15, 2008 - 10:24
This should be changed to "You know you're in Arcata when" because it doesn't represent the other 95% of the county. Not even close.
Maybe you should get out more.

Maybe you should check out Oakland

By Mr T, on Oct 15, 2008 - 11:10
or of course there is always Redding or Sacramento, Stockton, Fresno! Yeah, it really sucks here!

By oAK, on Oct 15, 2008 - 11:29
I moved here from Oakland, and Oakland is the nicest place I have ever been to. EVERYONE says hello, EVERYONE starts a conversation with you on the streets. It is pronbably the jmost freidnly city in the bayarea

By Arcata Voter, on Oct 15, 2008 - 13:14
If they moved here they are from here now. Get over it. The newly arrived are citizens just like you.

By dudet, on Oct 17, 2008 - 1:42
Humboldts a big place i wish people would stop complaining about eureka/arcata as being such a shithole when all the other communitys in the county are fine. It seems like the writer of this website is more concerned with the cultural impacts of these "new comers" and when citing poverty and homeless people as being a problem one should remember its because the economy here sucks, remember! It seems like he is jealous of the hot girl in the nice truck and wishes he could have that!

By ME, on Oct 19, 2008 - 8:47
Wowzee Wowzee Wow Wow! It really
does suck to be U!

be lucky your not in south Phoenix

By samPHX, on Nov 7, 2008 - 14:50
Eureka and arcata are like paradise compared to other parts of this country, even tho eureka is the armpit of Humboldt it is still alot better than most big cities, seriously bruh why would you have so much hatred for the most beautiful place on earth! and this should be called you know your in Eureka, obviously you are too much of a flake to kick it in Southern Humboldt with the elite, most people in soHum do not even like driving to eureka or arcata because of this list, but southern Humboldt is alot different from shitholes like eureka and arcata, get real bruh and do sum research, people in soHum dont even lock there doors at night becauser there is not a soul in miles and the community is tight knit to protect each other from haters like the author, be thankful to live in humboldt county you ungrateful prick

By joe man, on Dec 1, 2008 - 20:07
ya south phoenix is deffinetly a shit hole, i call it the home of the illigal mexacin imagrints. i am from nw phoeninix on the phoenix glendale boarder. it is hot as hell but one thing is absolutly beautiful is the sunsets we have. i am wanting to move to humbolt county to get away from the heat and the real dick headed fucks here. expecially all the snow birds that flock here in the winter or should i say extended fall to the extended spring. thats right no winters in phoenix. where would the best place to raise a family in humbolt county with nice freindly people who are actually good neighbors in a good neighborhood?

nah

By jonny5, on Dec 2, 2008 - 8:21
Dude if you want a family don't go to humboldt. your kids will grow up around meth heads and pot growers and will not be well adjusted for the real world. the schools here are complete shit and cost of living is too high for what you get back. you like natty dreads, stinky hippies, and criminal pot growers and you don't care about your kids' education? then come here. otherwise, move someplace else, maybe portland, seattle, boise, or somewhere in between.

joe man response

By samPHX, on Dec 22, 2008 - 23:58
if you want to start a family then you should probaly move to arcata. dont listen to johnny5 he doesnt understand someone is murdered everyday down here in this dangerous city of Phoenix! glendale is pretty rough and about 100 times more dangerous than eureka(the worst city in Humboldt). and unless your planning on growing alot of herbs and brodcasting to everyone you know about your grow room and showing off your room to shady buyers or thieving cops you have nothing to worry about! I have never experienced the since of community that I get while visiting arcata(to pick up medicine of course, lol)everytime I go there is some kind of festival on the arcata square and eureka even does a art festival every month. i walked around the eureka boardwalk smokin a blunt at 2am and was never accousted by anyone. note: I would not dare to even walk around south Phoenix or sum parts of glendale in the DAYTIME!!! meth and homelessness is a big problem in eureka so if your starting a family stay away from there,Do not be afraid of Humboldt, this blog is totally bias and I cant understand why this author still lives there? Humboldt County is in my opinion the best place on earth, It contains some of the oldest and tallest redwood trees in the world, the beaches of Humboldt are absolutely breathtaking, and the lost koast loop drive is a cruise you will never forget! plus if you enjoy fine wine, the best herbs in the world, and small quiet peaceful communites, then move to Humboldt! but if you dont smoke cannabis then you shouldnt move here, after all Humboldt doesnt need anymore haters screwing up the vote, since the author is doing hies fair share of bashing such a marvelous and beautiful plant which god hath given to his children(genesis 1:29)


P.s> the author licks hairy hippy(who hadnt showered in months) balls

joe man response

By samPHX, on Dec 22, 2008 - 23:59
if you want to start a family then you should probaly move to arcata. dont listen to johnny5 he doesnt understand someone is murdered everyday down here in this dangerous city of Phoenix! glendale is pretty rough and about 100 times more dangerous than eureka(the worst city in Humboldt). and unless your planning on growing alot of herbs and brodcasting to everyone you know about your grow room and showing off your room to shady buyers or thieving cops you have nothing to worry about! I have never experienced the since of community that I get while visiting arcata(to pick up medicine of course, lol)everytime I go there is some kind of festival on the arcata square and eureka even does a art festival every month. i walked around the eureka boardwalk smokin a blunt at 2am and was never accousted by anyone. note: I would not dare to even walk around south Phoenix or sum parts of glendale in the DAYTIME!!! meth and homelessness is a big problem in eureka so if your starting a family stay away from there,Do not be afraid of Humboldt, this blog is totally bias and I cant understand why this author still lives there? Humboldt County is in my opinion the best place on earth, It contains some of the oldest and tallest redwood trees in the world, the beaches of Humboldt are absolutely breathtaking, and the lost koast loop drive is a cruise you will never forget! plus if you enjoy fine wine, the best herbs in the world, and small quiet peaceful communites, then move to Humboldt! but if you dont smoke cannabis then you shouldnt move here, after all Humboldt doesnt need anymore haters screwing up the vote, since the author is doing hies fair share of bashing such a marvelous and beautiful plant which god hath given to his children(genesis 1:29)


P.s> the author licks hairy hippy(who hadnt showered in months) balls

Post a Comment




security code